Tag Archives: poetry

#73 Julia Roberts!

22 Feb

images.jpeg

Julia Roberts. We’ve all seen her. Not many have had a go though. The “tart with a heart” of Pretty Woman fame, the “whore with a core”. Not like that in real life. A delightful young lady, Ms Roberts today offers us an unhindered view into the world of celebrity food! Indeed, Julia managed to wangle this recipe from her co-star of Notting Hill…yes! Huge Grunt! Hugh, a 7th generation cockney from the ‘Old East End’ of London, England, in the United Kingdom of Emirates apparently let slip during filming the details of this old family recipe handed down by his grandmother to which he had added some of his own subtle, bumbling panache!

Roberts’ Gobfest

full-english.jpeg You will need: a pan, a tomato, 5 slices of bacon, 2-7 eggs, a cumberland sausage, a tin of baked beans, some magic mushrooms, a black pudding, hash browns (optional) and some bread (to toast) , lard.

1:  Add roughly half a kilo of lard to the pan.

2: Turn the gas to “high”.

3: Eventually the lard will go “on fire”. This is the time to add all ingredients, quickly!

4: Stir for an hour, or if you prefer well done, an hour and a quarter.

5: Get the toast out that I should have mentioned earlier!

6: Pour the pan onto toast and serve!

You are now ready to eat as an old tart might on the streets of Notting Hill, England! (This meal is particularly romantic and would suit 2 or more)

Next week, David Hasselhof shows us how to gut and cook a pig with a David Bowie knife!